{"id":79,"date":"2017-02-25T17:15:46","date_gmt":"2017-02-25T16:15:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/?p=79"},"modified":"2017-03-02T11:59:54","modified_gmt":"2017-03-02T10:59:54","slug":"elusive-certainty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/?p=79","title":{"rendered":"Elusive Certainty"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Do you hear the sadness that lingers even in the most lighthearted of voices? A desperate longing that never ceases to evade my grasp is seemingly my most faithful companion. A blissful moment slips away, the record ends; even intoxication reaches a dreary limit. Glimpses of brilliance leave me ever wanting; I feel unable to drink even a simple cup of coffee without anticipating the coming void. How do I fill it? How do I dwell in every crevice of each cherished moment? As while counting the coins in the bottom of my bag for a parking ticket, I\u2019m overcome by mundane dread. Scarcity and continuity intertwine.<\/p>\n

The finest get lost in overtime and lack of time. Their brilliance fades every time we meet and I can\u2019t seem to conjure up what had so ignited my passion. Stories wear thin without bodies to wear them. Their voices speak to the sadness I carry. There is a vague, sweet acknowledgement of the desperation we bury in a desk drawer or douse in wine. We let it slip away in front of the television. Petty disputes let us forget how great love once loomed.<\/p>\n

The infinite lives, from which we must choose but one, haunt our holidays and health struggles. I find an empty journal, like the empty canvas, terrifying. What is it I must do that I haven\u2019t? What is it I\u2019m to feel or create? How do I fill the void of my own existence? How can I love enough? How can I assemble something essential, spread it as far as the mind can reach and yet preserve its immediate brilliance? Where do I stash the despair of my squandered attempts?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not the losses. It\u2019s knowing how to start over with the burden of so much lost time, the beloved enemy.<\/p>\n

Opening the heart to a kind of elusive certainty seems so frightening and yet remains the one and only task.<\/p>\n

What do we do with our grandeur?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you hear the sadness that lingers even in the most lighthearted of voices? A desperate longing that never ceases to evade my grasp is seemingly my most faithful companion. A blissful moment slips away, the record ends; even intoxication reaches a dreary limit. Glimpses of brilliance leave me ever wanting; I feel unable to … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Elusive Certainty”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1],"tags":[27,34,33,11,29,32,14,30,28,31,35],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","hentry","category-fashion","category-writings","tag-1930s-fashion","tag-a-fashionable-epistemology","tag-beauty","tag-femininity","tag-french-fashion","tag-longing","tag-love","tag-nostalgia","tag-parisienne","tag-sadness","tag-vintage-fashion","post_format-post-format-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":103,"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions\/103"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fashionable-epistemology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}